A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular attrition of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

3. Job interfering with your drinking.

4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

5. Career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

9. Two hands and just one mouth… - now THAT’S a drinking problem!

10. You can focus better with one eye closed.

11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

12. You fall off the floor…

13. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

16. At AA meetings you begin: “Hi, my name is… uh…”

17. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, yet you are fully clothed (other than your missing underwear).

18. The whole bar says ‘Hi’ when you come in…

19. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and [Women or Men].

20. Every night you’re beginning to find your roommate’s cat more and more attractive.