This has nothing to do with beer but is still very funny.

Why I fired my Secretary

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’
I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, ‘Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! ‘
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o’clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.’
I said, ‘Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go !’
We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?’
I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind ?’
She said, ‘Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.’
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ‘ Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’
‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake …. Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

Health Benefits

Drinking Guinness can keep your heart healthy. Guinness is rich in iron that is good for the blood and Guinness has always hinted that Guinness was good for you. Researchers have stated that Guinness has the ability to reduce blood clots that in turn lower the risk of heart attacks. It is the antioxidants found in Guinness that is believed to bring these health benefits.

Some other things you may not know about Guinness

1. After finishing a pint of Guinness you can count the rings in the glass. This will tell you drink how many sips/gulps you took. An Irish person should only see between 5 and 7 rings.
2. If you want to know when a pint of Guinness has properly settled, take a coin and tap the glass gently. If the glass makes a sharp sound, then it has settled. Otherwise if it produces a bland sound then it has some more settling to do.
3. Blackcurrant juice can be added to a pint of Guinness to improve the taste if you are not a fan. This should not be tried in Ireland, as most people will frown upon it.
4. Guinness and steak pie is a common dish that uses Guinness as an ingredient. It is actually quite nice. The alcohol level becomes reduced in the Guinness when the dish has been fully prepared.
5. Putting a shamrock on the Guinness head using the tap is a very skilful task. Not many people can do it properly. You may see shamrocks on the heads but these can be added using a shamrock shaped stamp.

So go and have a Guinness and enjoy this great drink.