Monthly Archives: June 2008

The art of pouring a perfect pint of Guinness

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Guinness PourDid you know that it takes 5 minutes to pour a pint of Guinness? That is, it does if you’re pouring it correctly.

I have always thought this to be true with any beer. It bugs me when going to a restaurant and I get a beer with too much head so at the end I get cheated. Here is the perfect way to pour a Guinness.

1. Start with a tulip-shaped pint glass that’s clean and dry. Tilt the glass to a 45-degree angle under the tap and pour until the glass is three-quarters full.
2. Let sit for several minutes to let it settle. The beer should be black and flat.
3. After it’s settled, fill the glass the rest of the way. No need to tilt the glass anymore; you want to create the signature foamy head on top. It’s okay if some foam spills over the side — that means you’ve got it full enough!
4. Enjoy.

In case you need to see it to believe it, check out this YouTube video on:

Is the Guinness really better in Ireland?

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guinness Is the Guinness really better in Ireland? I have heard this a number of times and have always questioned if it is true or not. The biggest reason why I thought it was false was because I couldn’t understand why a brewing company would export a nasty version of their best tasting beer it made no sense.

I did a little research by asking a few people at pubs, and here’s what I came up with:

  • The popularity of the drink in Ireland means that kegs aren’t sitting around long. Therefore, the Guinness is almost always fresh — and certainly more fresh than overseas since it doesn’t have to travel as far.
  • The lines are cleaner — pub owners in Ireland are visited every three weeks by a Guinness representative who flushes the lines to Guinness kegs.
  • Guinness should be served at room temperature — an oddity to us who associate the pleasures of beer drinking with its coolness on a hot day. I’ve noticed that most bars in the States tend to chill their Guinness along with the rest of their beers, which definitely changes the flavor of it.

house warming party

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yesterday was my house warming party. I’m still feeling it, woke up sore my bones hurt and the Lakers might loose this series. i had my house warming party yesterday and wow did i get drunk. i bought a bottle of Jager, 30 pack of Tecates (for the wizard game), and a 12 pack of Pyramid Hef. but that was only my purchase, Griff got another bottle of Jager and a bag fool of red bulls. every other guest showed up with there own 12 pack every cold beer out there.

i remember the beginning very clearly, some music, a lot of beers and  shot… damn the truth is i don’t remember when 3/4 of the people left my house shit i was fucked up. some people from work came and that was dope cant wait 2 talk to them tomorrow. some old friends came it was crazy 2 see them again its always good times when they come through.

ill update this post with the stories from my guests they should be really good and i think Griff has pics…

No Deal

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I recently entered my favourite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at my regular table, I noticed a gorgeous woman sitting all alone at a nearby table.

I called the waiter over and asked for their best bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that, if she accepts it, she is mine.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly brings it over to the woman, saying this is from the gentleman over there. She looks at the wine and sends a note over to me.

Her note reads:
“For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants.”

I, after reading her note, chuckled, and sent a note of my own back to her.

My note read:
“Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850 and a Mercedes 600 SL in my garage. I have over twenty-five million dollars in the bank. But not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off.

JUST SEND THE BOTTLE BACK.”

The Blind Mans Blonde Joke

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A blind man and his guide dog enter a Bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler.
Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy thinks a moment and says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

My Dad – Never underestimate him

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I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.
And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
“Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”