Beer Myths of the World BUSTED!

Do you love beer? How much do you know about beer?

It seems like there is always that guy in the bar that has a crazy story about the beer he’s drinking. The worst part, sometimes its believable, so you tell someone, then they tell someone, and thats a beer myth. Here are ten of the more outrageous myths about beer and what you need to know to set that guy in the bar straight.

Beer Myth 1: Beat the Beer Belly with Light Beer

OK, light beers have maybe 90-100 calories, regular beers generally have less than 200 calories. A beer lover would say the difference is comparable to the difference between McDonalds and a 5 star restaurant. A dietician would tell you the difference is negligible. So unless you are drinking 300 beers a week, I would drink the good stuff.

Beer Myth 2: The darker the beer, the more alcohol it contains

Not even close. Guinness is black, and has 4.2% alcohol. The color of a beer comes from the toasted malts, which has no effect on alcohol content. Ingredients like rice syrup, honey, and corn syrup add alcohol to beer, but do not influence the color.

Beer Myth 3: Beer is ruined if warmed and then refrigerated

This can be true, if you do it many, many times, and it will happen gradually. People think re-chilling beer will cause it to be “skunked”. Beer can be ruined by air, light and time. Temperature won’t ruin a beer unless it’s extreme. Get fresh beer and store it in dark place, and it will be fine.

Beer Myth 4: Imported beers have more alcohol than domestic beers

This comes from the way US beers reported their beers’ alcohol content. The rest of the world uses “Alcohol by Volume”, here is the US they used “Alcohol By Weight”. Since beer weighs less than water, US beers had smaller numbers, but not less alcohol.

Beer Myth 5: The Guinness they serve in Ireland is better

It seems widely accepted that beer in “the old country” is better than what they export to the rest of the world. The brewing process is cheap, so why would a brewery risk their reputation by brewing a different beer for export? It doesn’t make sense, and it’s not true. With few exceptions, the beer that is exported is the exact same beer that they serve in the bar across the street from the brewery. The difference is purely freshness. It takes two weeks for a keg of Guinness to get from Dublin to your favorite bar in the states. Some beers, like Fosters, is brewed in Canada under a license for sale in the US. But it is clearly stated on the bottle when this is the case.

Beer Myth 6: Beer shouldn’t be Bitter

The bitterness of a beer comes from the hops. Hops are in all beers to balance the sweet malts and to act as a preservative. Some beers have a lot of hops, like India Pale Ales (IPAs) and some beers have less hops, like Wheat Beers. Hops can give a beer complexity and add all sorts of flavors and aromas, like pine, citrus, and earthiness. Hops are why people say beer is an acquired taste, but they also make beer delicious.

Beer Myth 7: The best beers are in green bottles.

As it turns out, brown bottles protect the beer from the light much better than green bottles or clear bottles. This myth comes from when there was a shortage of brown glass in Europe after WWII. The European beers were bottled in green instead, so green bottles came to represent imports. This certainly isn’t the case anymore.

Beer Myth 8: The Thai beer Singha has formaldehyde in it

It seems widely believed that Singha is brewed with formaldehyde, as is Chang beer, San Miguel, Vietnamese 33, and Singapore’s Tiger Beer. The most believable explanation for this one is that Singha is much more bitter and contains more alcohol than most lagers. When American or British expatriots and soldiers were drinking beer in Thailand, they got drunk much more quickly then they were used to, and it was much more bitter flavor then they were used to. To explain this it was suggested that it contained formaldehyde. Crazy.

Beer Myth 9: Corona is Mexican Piss

In the 1980s there was a rumor that Mexican workers were peeing in the Corona tanks that were destined for the US. Certainly alarmingly disgusting… if true. As it turns out this myth was started as a result of Corona’s rising popularity in the US market, and who was jealous? Heineken. This was nothing more than a rumor started by a Heineken wholesaler in Reno. It all worked out, the guy from Heineken admitted his wrongdoing, and Corona continued it’s rise to popularity. But the rumor can still be heard today in bars across the country.

Beer Myth 10: Women don’t like beer

Thats crazy! My wife loves beer almost as much as I do. Women have brewed more beer than men in the history of beer. Sister Doris in Bavaria brews Mallersdorf lager. Fortunately, this myth is far from true.

Pub Crawl

An Irishman’s been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. 

Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. 

“So, you’ve been out drinking again!!”
“What makes you say that?” He asks as he puts on an innocent look.
“The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.”

Blue Moon

Blue MoonBlue Moon is available in bottles and kegs. The brew has 171 calories per 12-ounce serving and 5.4 percent alcohol by volume. However, in Minnesota, Oklahoma, Colorado and Utah, the alcohol content of all Blue Moon beers is 5.4% alcohol by weight.

Ah Blue Moon, this is truly one of the best beers i have ever tasted. This Belgian white ale has a incredibly smooth taste does not leave any foul after taste, so good it can be drank warm. In a bottle or on tap its a wonderful tasting beer.

My cousins were the first to tell me about blue moon but i payed no attention, that was my first mistake, as time went by they would talk about there bar encounters and how they were drinking blue moon. Even at random moments where there was no drinking involved one of them would mention how a blue moon would be perfect to drink right now and the others would all agree, I had to find out more. The liquor store next to my work is full of great imported beer so i knew that they had to have it. i bought a case of blue moon for 18 bucks witch I found kind of expensive but laziness did not let me go shop around for a better price. when i got home my wife and I had our first taste.

Well now my wife’s first choice of beer is always a blue moon. The other night me and my wife had this huge argument not sure of the reasons anymore but we definitely needed to chill out and talk about it. So i left the kid at my mother in-laws house and found a T.G.I.F. luckily for me the had blue moon on tap, I strongly believe that Blue moon saved my marriage that night.

Fat Tire

FAT TIRE Named in honor of our founder Jeff’s bike trip through Belgium, Fat Tire Amber Ale marks a turning point in the young electrical engineer’s home brewing. Belgian beers use a far broader pallet of ingredients (fruits, spices, esoteric yeast strains) than German or English styles. Jeff found the Belgian approach freeing. Upon his return, Jeff created Fat Tire and Abbey Belgian Ale, (assuming Abbey would be his big gun). He and his wife, Kim traveled around sampling their homebrews to the public. Fat Tire’s appeal quickly became evident. People liked everything about it. Except the name. Fat Tire won fans is in its sense of balance: toasty, biscuit-like malt flavors coasting in equilibrium with hoppy freshness.

Pyramid Hefe Weizen

Pyramid Hefe Weizen Brewed by the original Wheat Beer Pioneers, is left unfiltered for extra flavor and aroma.Handcrafted with 60% malted wheat (10% more than Bavarian tradition calls for), our award-winning Hefe Weizen is unsurpassed in quality and exceptionally smooth and refreshing for the whole beer experience.Original Gravity: 12.5
Alcohol By Volume: 5.20%
Malts: 2-Row Barley, Malted Wheat, Caramel
Hops: Nugget, Liberty, Willamette
Availability: Year Round
Best Paired With: Fish, Salads, Poultry, Spicy Foods

Bronze, World Beer Cup “American Style Wheat Ale or Lager”, 2000
Silver Medal, World Beer Championships, “Weizen”, 1997

Norm!!!

SAM: “What’s new, Normie?”
NORM: “Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach & they’re demanding beer.”

SAM: “What’d you like, Normie?”
NORM: “A reason to live. Give me another beer.”

SAM: “What’ll you have Normie?”
NORM: “Well, I’m in a gambling mood, Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.”
SAM: “Looks like beer, Norm.”
NORM: “Call me Mister Lucky.”

WOODY: “What’s the story, Mr. Peterson?”
NORM: “The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let’s cut to the happy ending.”

WOODY: “Hey, Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.”
NORM: “I know. If she calls, I’m not here.”

SAM: “Beer, Norm?”
NORM: “Have I gotten that predictable? Good.”

WOODY: “How’s it going, Mr. Peterson?”
NORM: “Poor.”
WOODY: “I’m sorry to hear that.”
NORM: “No, I mean pour.”

SAM: “What’s going down, Normie?”
NORM: “My butt cheeks on that bar stool.”

WOODY: “Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
NORM: “All right, but stop me at one. Make that one-thirty.”

SAM: “What’s the story, Norm?”
NORM: “Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.”

WOODY: “What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?”
NORM: “The question is what’s going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody.”

WOODY: “Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
NORM: “A little early isn’t it, Woody?”
WOODY: “For a beer?”
NORM: “No, for stupid questions.”

the difference between a Good Bartender or a Bad Bartender

bartender What is the difference between a Good Bartender or a Bad Bartender? We’ve all been upset at poor service but equally I know when I get good service, I remember it! So what are the things that annoy or impress us? A good Bartender:
  • Always acknowledges customers at the bar.
  • Can take more than one order at a time.
  • Pours the pint of Guinness first when dispensing a large order.
  • Puts your change in your hand and not on the bar counter.
  • Offers to carry the drinks to the table for you when necessary.
  • Can explain the difference between different quarter bottles of wine.
  • Takes pride in their uniform.
  • Prepares sufficient lemon slices in the morning.
  • Does not raise their eyes to heaven when asked for an Irish Coffee.
  • Knows how to change ashtrays (outside these days..) without ash flying everywhere.
  • Does not put their fingers into glasses when clearing tables.
  • Knows what’s going on in the area when asked by customers.
  • Knows a number for local taxis.
  • Takes orders from customers in rotation, without leaving anyone waiting longer than others.
  • Asks if the customer would like ice in their mineral water.
  • Asks if ice and/or lemon are required in vodka/gin/bacardi.
  • Knows how to clean the draught lines (even though he doesn’t have to any more…).
  • Understands the importance of discretion.
  • Presents the pint glass with the logo facing you.
  • Holds glasses a couple of inches below the rim when serving.
  • Thanks customers for their business when they are leaving.
  • Asks customers if they would like another drink when the glass is almost empty.

A bad Bartender

  • Talks to some customers at length while others are left waiting.
  • Never washes their hands despite handling glasses by the rim.
  • Arrives late and leaves early.
  • Is always wondering when they can get their “staff drink”.
  • Doesn’t record or care about waste.
  • Takes orders from the pretty girls first.
  • Dispenses free drinks to the pretty girls “on the house”.
  • Adds ice and lemon to drinks as standard.
  • Lets the tap run for a second or two before placing the glass underneath.
  • Adjusts the gas setting of each tap before pouring a pint.
  • Scratches their head and their face during service.
  • Doesn’t wear full uniform.
  • Encourages friends to drink in the bar when (s)he is on duty.
  • Leaves the Cash Drawer open in the cash register.
  • Never gives a receipt.
  • Hates the thought of serving food.
  • Doesn’t know what cutlery/condiments are needed for each dish/drink served.

How to Order a Beer in Fifty Languages

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” –Dave BarryIf there’s one universal constant in human society, it has to be alcohol. Rare indeed is the culture that hasn’t worked out the tricksy process of fermenting and/or distilling some type of vegetable matter — be it malted barley, potatoes, honey or grape juice — into a brew containing a significant percentage, as the dictionary puts it, of an “organic compound in which a hydroxyl group is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl or substituted alkyl group.” In other words, booze.

Among the mildest and most variable of these alcoholic beverages is that fine elixir known as beer. A true beer connoisseur would never pass up an opportunity to try the local brew, no matter where on Earth where they found themselves, and so it behooves the serious beerologist to know how to order a beer in as many languages as possible. That’s why we’ve taken it upon ourselves to provide you with a handy guide on how to order a beer in 50 different languages. Where the pronunciation isn’t obvious, or in which the term is normally written in non-Roman characters, we’ve rendered it phonetically. Cheers!

One beer, please!

Afrikaans A beer, ah-suh-bleef!
American Brewski here, please!
Arabic Waheed beera, meen fadleek!
Basque Garagardo bat, mesedez!
Belarusian Ad-no pee-vah ka-lee lah-ska!

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” — Frank Zappa

Bengali Eka handoiya, doya koray!
Bulgarian Edna beerra, molya!
Catalan Una cervesa, si us plau!
Cheyenne Nok hee-sevo-tamah-peh, mas-eh-met-ah-no!
Chinese Ching gay woh ee bay pee joh!

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’” — Jack Handy

Czech Pee-vo, pro-seem!
Danish Yay vil geh-neh heh en url!
Dutch Un beer, ahls-yer-bleeft!
Egyptian (Ancient) Wekha henqet!
Esperanto Unu bieron, mi petas!

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” — Abraham Lincoln

Estonian Ooks ur-loo, pah-lun!
Finnish O-loot moolek kee-tos!
French Une bière, s’il vous plait!
German Ein Bier, bitte!
Greek Mee-a beer-a paraka-loh!

“Remember: I before E, except in Budweiser.” — Anonymous

Hawaiian ‘Ekahi pia, ho’olu!
Hindi Eka biyara, krupaya!
Hungarian Edj pohar shurt kayrek!
Icelandic Ay-dn byohr, tahk!
Interlingua On bira, per favor!

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” — Plato

Irish Byohr awoyn, lyeh doh hull!
Italian Una birra, per favore!
Japanese Bee-ru ip-pon, ku-da-sai!
Korean Mayk-joo hahn-jahn, joo-se-yoh!
Kurdish Dan min yek bire!

“Give me a woman who loves beer, and I will conquer the world.” — Kaiser Wilhelm

Lakota (Sioux) Wan-jee m’nee-pee-gah, ee-yo-kee-pee!
Latin Cervisiam, sodes!
Lithuanian Pra-shau vie-na, al-lows!
Norwegian Ehn url, tahk!
Old English An beor, nu!

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” — Stephen Wright

Pig Latin One-ay eer-bay, ease-play!
Polish Yed-no peev, proshe!
Portuguese Uma cerveja, por favor!
Romanian Oh beh-reh ver rohg!

We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old. — Martin Luther

Scots Gaelic Lyawn, mahs eh doh hawl eh!
Serbo/ Croatian Yed-no pee-vo, mo-lim!
Slovene Eno pee-vo, pro-seem!
Spanish Una cerveza, por favor!
Swahili Moja pombe, tafadhali!

“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.” — Shakespeare, Henry V

Swedish Ehn irl, tahk!
Twi Mah-me bee-ye bah-ko, mee pow-che-oo!
Turkish Beer beer-ah, luht-fen!
Welsh Koo-roh ohs gwel-ookh-un-thah!
Yiddish A beer, zeit a-zoy goot!

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” — Dave Barry

Beerpong Rules

The Rules

  1. If you drink beer while playing beerpong, drink in moderation and stay in control. This keeps it fun for everyone.

  2. Lobs only (strictly enforced, not like regular ping pong. Each ball should have a solid 2-3 foot arc). Winning shots which aren’t lobs don’t count. Re-do the point.

  3. Cups go in the corners of the table (paddle in from the side and back of the table)

  4. Hoops in the cup = The person who got hooped has to drink a designated amount of beer (determined before the game starts).

  5. Hits on the cup, but not in the cup = one sip.

  6. The point is never over until the ball is hit off the table, or it bounces twice. A hit on the cup does not count as a bounce (i.e. hit the cup then hit the table, you can still hit it back before it bounces on the table a second time)

  7. All drinks (an accumulation of hits) occur after the point is over.

  8. The team hooped has the opportunity to throw the ball back into their opponents cup (either one) from their side of the table (don’t lean in too much). If the throwback is successful, the person throwing back gets to decide if both teams drink, or if the drinks are cancelled. Also, if the throwback is successful, the other team gets the opportunity to throw back, thus nullifying the original throwback, and so on.

  9. Doubles – partners rotate shots (just like regular ping pong).

  10. Singles – cups go into center of table (paddle in from edge).

  11. Must win by 2 points.

  12. Play to 21 or 11 if others are waiting to get on the table

Other rules to point out:

  1. Stoners: If the ball skips off the edge of the table before the other team can get a paddle on it, its declared a “Stoner”. Although the team who made the stoner still gets the point, they have to drink once since they got such a cheap ass point.

  2. Space: If you forget the scores, or forget to drink or any other space, you and your partner have to drink.

  3. Remember, one for all and all for one. If one teammate drinks, both have to. No saying, “You got hooped, or hit, you drink”. Both teammates drink together.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, carees her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked … with beer.